Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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