i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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