I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
