i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I need to sanitize my soul.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
