Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
