Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
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