they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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