I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
