I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
