My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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