Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
