Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
