No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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