Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
