i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
