If that was your dad, he is hot
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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