Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
