on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
