Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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