I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
