we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
