I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
