Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
