i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
