I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's blow job season.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
