I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
