also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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