well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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