This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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