Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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