Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
