And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
