Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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