I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
