"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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