worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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