they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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