I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
