This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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