How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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