I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
