She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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