Can Purell be used as lube?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
