She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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