I think scott just propositioned me for sex
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
