can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Never underestimate the power of titties
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
