Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
