is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Randomize
