erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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