I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
